“He
who has never learned to obey cannot be a good commander”. None other then Aristotle, a great man who is well known for his philosophical thoughts and
visions, spoke these famous words. When an individual becomes a great leader,
many love to say, you were born to be a leader! Unfortunately, I’d have to
disagree with those words. No one is “born” to be a leader, you learn to become
one, as Aristotle so slyly puts into his quote. You learn from individuals who
have great influence on you, individuals who will have the most impact on your
present, as well as your future.
For me, there are many people in my life that have inspired, motivated,
and pushed me to become the person I am today.
When
I was younger, I was a follower. I tended to do as the group did, follow
instructions exactly, basically I was a goody-two-shoes. I didn’t really have
what it took to be anything more than a sheep following the herder. As I grew
older though, I started breaking away from the norm. In high school, I decided
to move away from my user-abuser friends and join the debate team, leading to
one of the best choices I ever made. From there, I made friends that changed
the way I viewed life. I met a guy (who truthfully I talked to because I
thought he was outrageously handsome) who helped me transition into the belief
that I should always put what I want first and put others second as needed. I
made girlfriends that, even though we don’t see each other often, when we do,
it’s like we were back in high school cracking jokes and acting like fools.
Some things that debate did teach me though was that achievements are not
always handed to those who work hard, failure is an option, although it isn’t
one that you want, and that even if you are sick as a dog, you still go in
front of that judge, apologize for any throat clearing or sniffles, and speak
your heart out.
But
the time before University is a time I truly don’t like reminiscing over. So,
jumping to University, which ended up being a tornado filled with happiness,
craziness, madness, depression, and achievement. I entered University as a
biology major, planning on doing something in the pre-whatever I would like
area. It was exciting being a freshman, being somewhere new, where only a few
people from high school knew who you were truly were, but others just saw a
fresh face. To give you some background on why I chose Biology: my brother is
in the PhD program at Yale University, studying in Chemistry. My mom’s side
consists of doctors, researchers, grad students, businessmen, basically the
whole shebang of successful people. Being a follower, I wanted to be just like
my brother and the science side of my family, so I picked biology (like an
idiot). This was also the year I
met the two friends that became like sisters to me. Myra, who has been my
roommate since day one of University and Meisha, who became my roommate my
junior year. I knew both of them since middle school and high school, but I
didn’t get to truly know them until I lived with them. Truthfully, they are the
only two people that know me. When I say know me, I mean they have seen me go
through my worst moments, my break downs, break ups, deaths, pretty much
anything you can think of they have probably seen. One of those moments
included when I got dismissed from UTSA. Yes, I said it, I was dismissed from
UTSA because my grades were not up to par and I failed out. During my junior
year of University, I started dropping my responsibilities and paid more
attention to having fun. Of course I had a boyfriend and of course, I ended up
putting him before anything (which was the main reason why we ended up not
working out). I would make countless trips to Austin to see him, go out and
spend money like it was falling out of trees, and enjoy life like I had no
worries in the world. That was until I got the notice at the end of Spring 2012
that I had been dismissed. I can’t
remember my initial reaction, but I am pretty sure my body went ice cold and my
heart stopped for a good minute or two. I did all the research on how I could
get back into University and took two summer courses at Northwest Vista. But of
course I ended up slacking even more than I did during spring semester, I mean,
it was summer! I ended up getting a C and D in the courses I took, ending me at
a 1.98 for the semester. I remember having to tell my parents about everything
and how angry and disappointed they were in me. I don’t think I have ever cried
so much in my entire life until that moment. Losing my parents trust and having
them tell me how disappointed they were was the worst feeling I have ever felt.
My mom and I were on non-talking terms, my dad didn’t know what to tell me, and
my brother just told me things would all be okay. I convinced my parents that I
could talk to the dean of the University and persuade her to put me back in on
probation and strict terms. I
didn’t eat, I didn’t sleep, and I lost all the weight I could have ever gained
from college because of how anxious I was. After my brother’s gradation in
Saratoga Springs, my mom and I drove from Houston to San Antonio to meet the
Dean. She was beyond friendly and understanding of the situation. However, she
wouldn’t break the rules just because of my convincing arguments. She told me
to continue my education by going to community college, passing those classes,
and applying for Spring 2013. I
begged my mom not to take me back to Houston and after much crying and
pleading, we drove to Northwest Vista and applied for three courses: Accounting
1, Calculus for Business, and Macroeconomics. That was the moment I decided to
stop following and to start listening. No one believed I could do Biology, not
because I wasn’t smart enough, but because it wasn’t something my family saw me
doing in my future. My parents would constantly tell me that I would be great
in marketing or business, but I would always brush aside their “nagging” and
push forward into the sinkhole that I was slowly drowning in. It’s weird that
now I don’t feel as embarrassed to say that I was dismissed. Maybe it’s because
it feels good to know I was able to climb up that rugged mountain, reach the
top, and scream “I MADE IT” (I’m still waiting to actually do this in real
life). I went from Northwest Vista (with all A’s) to UTSA, passed every
semester, which was something I was never able to achieve in my previous
semesters, and graduated with a BBA in Marketing. The lesson I learned from
this is that sometimes failing is okay. To become a better person,
as well a good leader, you also need to listen to those around you who are
looking out for your best interests. Being at your weakest sometimes will help
you be at your strongest.
But
the struggle led me to meeting some pretty inspiring people, one of them being
my professor, Richard Utecht, also known as The Bear. When I first took his
once a week, 3-hour course, I thought he was going to a piece of cake (like
rate my professor stated). Boy, was I completely wrong. His exams were
extremely hard, his I.C.E.’s (in class exams) were always a surprise, and his
lectures were extremely long (but that was because we only met once a week). I was the quiet student, hardly talked,
and never wanted to be called on. And surprisingly (at that time I found it
surprising), he knew that I was that way just by looking at me. I ended up
getting a C in that class because I didn’t take it a seriously as I should
have. So, of course being the pusher that I am, I decided to take him for
Advertising, and that was probably the best decision I ever made. I knew I what
I had to do to succeed in the class, how to study for his ICE’s and exams, but
I never expected to form any sort of friendship with him. Every Tuesday and Thursday,
my friends Maddie, Adam, and I would go up to his office an hour before class
started and converse about anything that was on our mind. I don’t think I have
ever enjoyed going to class early until that moment. Now, I am his TA, grading
papers for the classes that I previously took. It’s weird that I actually love
going and sitting in his course and watching the students listen to him
lecture. I also enjoy relearning everything that I was taught because you can
never hear enough of the things you enjoy (which would be Advertising). What
makes me enjoy being around Dr. Utecht is the fact that he interacts well with
students. He isn’t harsh with his words, he doesn’t brush off student’s
problems, but he is stern and is very good at reading people who are “suck-ups”
and try to make friendships for an easy grade. Dr. Utecht has inspired me to
reach further into my education and go into the PhD program later on so I can
become a professor. Never in my 19 years in school have I ever thought of
becoming a professor because I have no patience when it comes to teaching.
However, his teaching style is so unique that it makes me want to be able to
teach students everything that I have learned. But without this man’s help, I
would have never thought of joining the American Marketing Association (AMA). I
had decided to go to the meeting because he had recommended it and said that
they were looking for officers. At this point, AMA was trying to build itself
back up from the previous leaders. I didn’t expect to get an officer position
as soon as I offered to be one, but it was a good thing I did. Being Vice
President of Careers wasn’t the greatest job to have, but it was a job that
educated me on how to keep in contact with clients and businesses and how to be
professional when meeting them. Not only did this organization help me build up
great leadership skills, it also helped me make friends. Weird, a 23 year old
who has been in University for 5 years needs help on how to make friends.
However, when I was Biology major, I wasn’t very into hanging out with new
people nor was into meeting new people. Everyone seemed to have his or her own
little “clique” and I just didn’t fit in. After I joined AMA, I found it was
nice to finally meet people who didn’t want to just hang out with their own
friends and they actually wanted to hang out with me. Not going to lie, I did
brush off hanging out with them because I was semi stuck on being my “biology
major”, introverted self. But now, one of them is a really good friend of mine
and a couple of others are super fun to hang out with.
To
go back to Aristotle’s quote, everything I have learned from the people I have
hung out with, the experiences I have had, the courses I have taken, have all
taught me how to become a leader. I was never “born” to be one, but I knew that
I could be one. Every project or group presentation I have had to do, I have
always taken charge to make sure everything goes as planned. Recently, I read a
book called #GIRLBOSS by Sophia Amoruso. This woman started out a colleges drop
out, who sold clothes on eBay, while trying to survive on part-time jobs. She
is now the Founder and CEO of a million dollar company called Nasty Gal. Her
book was the story of my life (except I went to college and experienced what
she did). Most of my life I have
been into the fashion world, wrapping myself around the trends and reading any
type of article that dealt with whatever I was interested in. To give you an
idea of how much I loved it, when trying on my first pair of shoes, my mom said
I refused to take them off. When they tried to take them off my feet, I started
to cry, and so they had to check them out while I was still wearing them. Every time I would get something
new, I would always show it off to people and say, “Look at my new
outfit/shoes/whatever”! Sadly, at one point, I ended up giving up on my goal of
getting into the fashion industry because I was not getting any experience due
to UTSA not offering anything within design, apart from interior. I have never
bought an outfit from Nasty Gal (due to being poor as hell), but I was always
inspired by the outfits that were put together on Ms. Amoruso’s website. Her
novel has inspired me to continue on with my goal and push forward. To get
experience, you need to work for it. My goal is to be able to work for Nasty
Gal, from the bottom of course, and get to the top and maybe work for a company
like Vogue or Fashion magazine, where I will be able to write and design for
them.
To
become a leader, you have to learn from everything including your experiences
and from the people you meet. From my experiences from hitting rock bottom to getting
to where I want to be (for now), I can say that I am finally learning what
it means to become a leader. Although I have a long way to go until the moment
I can officially say, “I am a true leader”, I am excited to experience anything
that gets me to that stage.
“A leader does not deserve the name
unless he is willing occasionally to stand alone.”
–Henry A. Kissinger.
No comments:
Post a Comment